So, the reason for the rush was the not-so-secret surprise engagement celebration for my sister and her fiance. And I’m glad that we made it.
Engagements are a funny thing. For most people it isn’t a movie moment where the girl is utterly surprised by the question and the man is nervous she will say ‘no’. There needs to be some type of conversation before that happens, lest you enter youtube hall of fame as ‘proposal fail’–which is totally a thing. I’ve often lamented the fact that boys (traditionally, and hopefully this will change in the next 100 years) get to choose the girl, and decide to ask. That is quite an open, albeit scary situation. A girl has to wait, and only has the option of yes or no. Why are the men the askers and the girls the answerers? Only being able to answer is stifling and also implies that they must wait for the guy alone to be ready. He controls the time, place, method, speech and women get an almost inaudible yes or no?
Anyway, D had an amazing event planned and I’m glad it worked out–he knew it would because they’d talked about it. Which is, as I said, key. The party was excellent, and it was great to meet his family in that way.
But there was an awkward moment. There came a time when it was necessary to exchange engagement stories. Now, I grew up knowing my parent’s story. It wasn’t fireworks–it was a solid love and commitment and mutual decision. The best thing is to decide together to live your lives rather than one person think its a good idea and the other agree. I never missed the glitz from it. The hard part is talking about my own which is somewhere in between flash, mutual decision and plain old practicality. Of course there was and is love. Its just not the world’s best story. Depending on who I’m reciting it to I’ve began, not exactly lying but, stretching the truth. What do people want to hear? I’ll tell them that!For me, in reality, it happened Christmas 2010. In the best way that it could have. A way that is uniquely weird and us:
Jane: indeed.. well yuo nevr said yes or n0
2:05 PM me: did you ask?
2:06 PM me: in person or just now over gtalk?
2:07 PM Jane: hehe gtalk
Jane: as i said. will you marry me
1:00 PM sure
Jane: sweet.. tht was easy
me: nervous for a sec there?
1:01 PM Jane: not really/.. legs elope 🙂
1:03 PM me: hmm do you know if we can? your goverment is kinda strict
1:04 PM Jane: it’ll be fine i amsure
1:05 PM well ok the diffrence is wheathe we gegt amrried and or you apply for citezenship
That was over the course of two days 27th and 28th while I was in Japan and he was in the UK. And yes, for some reason my nickname for Chris on Gchat is Jane. Its a long story. The problem for me after this Christmas was the waiting. And that is something my sister also is experiencing. Why do we wait? What are we planning for? Why must there be a ring? Who actually cares about this stuff? Obviously the important thing to ask after the big question is…how can this legally be done–and it was actually a bit of a pain.
The story I tell most people involves the ring, and being at home and happy. But that isn’t how it happened. Not really.
Enough about me. My sister’s was that magical dream night. The went to dinner. He took her to the lake out behind his house and rowed to the middle. There he got down on one knee and asked (with an elegant speech I wish he had saved) and then he signaled for fireworks.
He rowed ashore to where we all were waiting with champagne and cake.
You can’t really top that.
Why are engagements a big deal? Why do we crave stories that prove the man’s prowess and romanticism to woo a woman?
I have no answers. I just know that they are and I’m ecstatic for my sister.