This, I am sure, will be the first of many posts of this title.
I started talking about tantrums with my sister the other day, then one of children screamed, we got distracted and didn’t return to the topic.
Then I was out with a friend and I brought it up. She was helpful and understanding, but again, the little ones needed attention and we both got distracted.
It’s almost as if they don’t want me to talk about this…
Growing up, I thought tantrums were a sign of a spoiled child. A child who needed a spanking. A child who wanted their way and needed to learn their place (be silent and obedient). I don’t know where this came from. That isn’t what my mom told me, just something I felt from that nebulous cultural society thing that I must have some how tapped into. So of course, when I had a child, there would be NO tantrums.
Then I started reading about emotional development, how to regulate emotions, and about connecting with your child. I don’t want an obedient child, I want one that is kind and thinks for themselves (I’m sure I will regret saying that). But if tantrums are natural, and blind obedience undesirable, does that mean Ezra will be a spoiled brat who tantrums?
Are tantrums normal? If so, how was I so wrong for so long? And if they are normal, does everyone know that? Will I be judged for having a tantrum throwing child? I feel like I have arrived late to a party without a gift for the host.
I’m looking for books to read. Something good, and better than a clickbait internet article. Something that will persuade me, win me over and make me a champion toddler tamer. Or just something to reassure me that I’m not being permissive.
I want evidence, I want proof, I want direction! I guess it is what we all want. I have to choose a way to act, and be consistent. I just don’t know what is best.
Ezra is only 22 months old. So, I still have time to plan. His tantrums are quickly dispersed with a hug. But for how long?
This is just a rant, asking questions, seeking answers.
I guess I feel just like Ezra in this picture: chasing a seagull with a rice cracker in my hand, hoping that I can reach the bird and make it eat the cracker. *spoiler* the bird escaped unscathed, although it did look me in the eye saying “control your tiny human”. I shrugged, and ignored it.